Don’t Drink the Great Wall

Here’s a new article covering a local wine store. It’s a pretty good place, about 5 minutes from my house and they have good tastings.

The really fun part of this place is that these THE most ridiculous guy who works there who no fail insults or make every guest feel extremely uncomfortable. This most recent verbal ladu? He asked Rohan first why his hair looked so bad/messy… then followed up with a question about if he was losing it. He connected the hair style to being a possible reason for hair loss.

I love China.

Expedited Services in China

If anyone was wondering about a concrete response to the recent cat fight between China and the US over imports/exports it’s probably all summed up in a phone call I got from Todd on Monday. (For those who don’t know who Todd is, well, you’re a bit slow.) Todd is in charge of sales for the America for a startup company in China. They work in China but refuse to sell to China. Something about China’s high esteem for IPR issues.

Todd’s company is a pretty run-of-the-mill for companies in China YET… it’s incorporated in Singapore, banks out of HK, but has its office in Shanghai. And more importantly, it has a fun illegal factory attached to its main office and outside of Shanghai. And they wonder why they make American companies a bit nervous.

Todd is now personally affected by the Sino-US’s minor trade dispute.

Many small companies in China choose not to get an export license. It’s a hassle, expensive and rarely actually needed. They can also rely on their factories to use the “expedited” custom’s certification process. This process has become the reliable back door for most of the companies who “forgot” to register for the legal certification methods. Oddly though, this is the norm. People Todd’s working with all came from jobs at Chinese export companies, some who export to pretty big names in the US, and all of them at their old jobs still used the “expedited” process.

So what was this call from Todd you ask? They shut down the “expedited” process in China over the weekend.

There go US sales.

At least we know all the diplomacy is doing something and Todd has more material for his MA thesis. Honestly, we’ll see how long this crackdown lasts – I highly doubt China will willing cripple a large part of its own economy. If this crackdown was for real, I assume they would also be implementing more measures to incorporate it’s grey economy into mainstream regulations.

One thing that’s also pretty apparent recently here is the increased censorship – fun fact: you cannot access this blog in China – more internet sites are blocked than usual. I’m sure this is just one step in China’s recent attempt to circle the wagons after such high profile embarrassments. I can’t wait for the next installments where China will inevitably finger the evil villains in their midst and purge them. (We all know it can’t be the system at fault that pushed people to illegal factories and “expedited” service, it has to be the evil people involved).

So just a bit of commentary from the ground here, and hopefully I get happier phone calls soon.

Get Your Spice On: Spicy food and big gifts

A recent article I wrote about one of my favorite Sichuan places in Shanghai: Ba Gui Bu Yi.

This would also be the site of Todd’s B-day where we got a private room, went through 3 cases of beer, then went with (Asian) Christine to a shady tattoo parlour to get a tattoo of the her Chinese name which in English mean “Grace”… directly translated though, it means “big gift”. Did I mention this was a lower back tattoo and she’s got some junk in the trunk?

Yes, we did try to stop her.

Then Todd’s boss dropped by in the middle (I remind you on his birthday) so they could make some client calls. They were professional enough though to go to the bar next door and not do it IN the tattoo parlor.

All in all a good night though. Check out the article if you’re interested.

China “Business Speak”

Words take on a whole new meaning when doing business in China. Here are some terms you might think you know, but get a whole new meaning when doing business in on this side of the world. I’ll admit I didn’t come up with these but reposting seems like a better idea than reinventing the wheel – or in this case, the dumpling.

“Expatrapreneur – Westerner who starts a new business in China. Usually involves a number of business plan rewrites, false starts, mental breakdowns, racist rants, cries for help, fits of despair and alcohol dependency. Potentially your best bet when looking for local professional service providers…

Dot.CN — China’s internet industry. Venture Capital firms are said to be chasing after start-ups in Beijing and Shanghai with buckets full of cash. Company’s are being started with no business plan or earnings model. Investors are valuing companies based on multiples of anticipated revenue because there are no earnings. In no way related to the Dot-Com boom in the US during the 1990s because it can’t happen here. (See GRAVITY — Myth of )

Gravity — A mythical, non-existent force reputed to pull high-flying things back to Earth. Does not apply to China or things Chinese.

China Premium -– Paying inflated prices for a company or opportunity that is almost certain to lose money – usually in or related to China. Usually paid by the same people or companies over and over. Only works when you can get someone to pay YOU the China premium.

DDE – Dangerously Disgruntled Employees. In America, we worry about these guys showing up with a shotgun or an M16. In China we worry about the lawsuit and the weblog. If you’ve never seen a lawsuit-driven media event in China, you’re in for a treat. They are passionate, public, humiliating, and can go on for an inordinate amount of time. Usually good fun, unless its your company getting sued. [You fired the guy for stealing computers and doing a lousy job, but now you have to write a letter apologizing for insulting the nation? Go figure.]

Face – as in “to lose face”. I’m not really sure I know what this means. It seems to be something that showed up in a western movie or book about China and then took on a life of its own. It’s the business etiquette version of “Chow Mein” — it seems to have vaguely Eastern origins, but now bears little resemblance to anything a Chinese person would really recognize. It never, ever helps you. It puts all the responsibility on you to modify or limit your responses, but does not seem to have any impact on how locals treat you or the agreements you have just reached. If someone ever warns you about making someone else “lose face”, it’s going to be a VERY expensive conversation.

MWM — Mainlander With Money. News weeklies will tell you that every third Chinese was a penniless alley-urchin who built a manufacturing empire out of dreams and empty plastic bottles — but most of the local yuppies in Shanghai or Shenzhen work directly for big, international companies. The Chinese middle-class is here, they have money to spend, and they only like 1/2 of your stuff. It’s your job to figure out which half. Oh — and they want to spend their own way. They’ll buy the Buick, but they want to buy the Buick in Chinese. Maybe. Sometimes. It’s your job to figure out the details, but the money really is there. And there’s more on the way…

SCM — Special Chinese Method. What all young, male mainland Chinese seem to believe exists to solve any conceivable business challenge. Note: Unless you are cooking, writing, or bribing local officials, THERE IS NO SPECIAL CHINESE METHOD!! Or rather there is, but it will not result in an outcome that you consider to be successful or effective. If there really were SCMs that worked, you wouldn’t be here, now would you? SCMs are invariably simple, require little pre-planning but much post-disaster management, and usually involve handing over money or valuable equipment to an employee’s classmate’s friend’s neighbor’s colleague’s son. Would you really be surprised to hear that it never, ever works?”

Rohan’s B-day/Shanghai Ultimate Party

This past weekend was a lot of fun celebrating Ro(han)’s B-day. Won’t go into much detail and I’ll just let the pictures do the talking. We started the night at an Indian food place, aptly named Indian Kitchen. Here’s the B-day boy himself with Isabella (owner of La Bella’s, a sweet bar here). You can check out a vagablond post I wrote about it… only minor conflict of interest.

Check out the other problems he got himself into here. The next night was the SH Ultimate Frisbee 50’s themed party. You can also check at pictures in the link above, but I do want to share the dueling robots who crashed the party in case you miss the link.

He Has A Point

Although he might be a little angry, the writer of Diligence China more often than not is on to something. He has a recent article which you all might find interesting and it’ll give you a good idea about what working here is like. Check out the whole article here but here are the parts I found most interesting.

“Chinese nationalism is back, and international managers have to be very careful. As the banners and demonstrations at the gate’s of Danone’s Wahaha subsidiary underscore, Chinese leaders are more than happy to whip up public opinion to serve a wide range of goals. The problem is that once the genie of nationalism is out of the bottle, it’s impossible to contain.

Recent Chinese economic gains have raised expectations in two ways that are both significant to ex-pat managers and investors. 1) Chinese people believe that any frustrations, shortcomings or failures are YOUR fault, not theirs. They have been conditioned to see themselves as the natural heir to economic and industrial ascendancy. Any blockages or pitfalls must have been placed in their way by outside forces. 2) Westerners and foreign institutions are plotting against the rise of China. The average mindset in China is that western institutions are “tired” and outdated – and their only defense against the rise of China is trickery and manipulation. You will hear more and more of this line of reasoning when intellectual property or product safety laws are invoked – particularly on the international level.

Know which subjects to avoid, or at least where to tread carefully. Tibet & Taiwan are obvious. Hopefully you are aware that to the average Chinese person, Tiananmen is an architectural structure whose main historical significance is as the site of Mao’s address to the Red Guard. There was never any massacre there as far as most of your Chinese staff and managers are concerned. Chinese colleagues think that government censorship of the internet is a virtuous system that protects children, that media controls are necessary and party membership is akin to joining the Rotary Club or Chamber of Commerce. They probably don’t understand why Darfur matters (at least to them) – but believe the Beijing Olympics is one of the most important events in modern history. Don’t be lulled into misconceptions by sophisticated-sounding Chinese colleagues who take a worldlier, cynical line. Once the banners start waving, every critical word you’ve ever uttered – or agreed to – will be used against you…

Be sensitive to the symbols. Mainland Chinese yuppies like to sound sophisticated and modern. Don’t buy into it. Chinese people revere Mao. They revere their flag. They respect the Party, at least as far as you’re concerned. They think the Chinese legal code is the best in the world. As far as the symbols go, you want to be very careful whenever the Chinese flag is used – but also watch out how images of Mao, dragons, the map of China, images of “common” Chinese workers and historical or traditional Chinese personalities are handled. Don’t fall into the trap of believing what the NY Times or hip business mags have to say about the “Chinese street”. The people around you tend to be MORE patriotic and loyal towards their government than US people are…”

Because I’m Dork

Last night was the first meeting the the Grameen Foundation-Shanghai group – minus one incredibly bitchy woman, it was an awesome group of people who all really shared an interest in microfinance and developing it in China. Although microfinance is something that really wasn’t even legal here up until a few years ago, it’s something that the Chinese Gov’t is looking at as a viable possibility… they’re also pretty skeptical too 1) it’s worried that this is just a way to funnel money to more democratic causes; 2) it’s a way to defraud organizations , and 3) this is still “a social welfare state” so bringing in outside resources and organizations like the GF is sucking it up and taking a small loss of face. Notice how I didn’t mention the fact that in practice GF really supports small (cough:: capitalistic::cough) entrepreneurs – supporting democracy and money laundering or the gov’t’s bigger concerns at the moment.

This group has some great potential and hopefully will get off the ground. Wihth people from so many different backgound (finance, IT, advertising, teaching, etc.) we’ll be able to make a difference. Check out the Grameen Foundation China site.

So Many Reasons…

It’s often easy to trash talk China. It could be all the fake/poison/terrible exports it’s been send out to the world recently. (I’d like to point out to all those living outside of Mao’s last stand… when the US turns those goods away, where do you think they go? Oh yeah, right back here!) Although it’s easy to get stuck on things like that though, please consider this recent post on one of my favorite blogs.

 

 

Chongqing’s doggie-style public sinks

Hand it to Chongqing — at least the city’s public toilets aren’t boring. Last year, we told you about their streetside urinals that didn’t leave enough to the imagination. Now come the outdoor sinks that are a dream come true for anyone who has ever fantasized about washing their hands while entering a woman from behind (you know who you are).

The original story doesn’t really say exactly where in the city you would find these sinks, but based on the photo it does appear to be a kid-friendly place (except, we guess, for the porn sinks)

The More Important Things in Life

One of my favorite questions I’ve gotten from friends coming to China is “How’s your Chinese?” Although I might now be able to order a bit better in Chinatown (actually, in NYC the majority of what people think of as Chinatown in NYC – the fake bage area – are Cantonese speakers) I hope I can share some of the more important words/terms I’ve learned with people: (there’s pin yin and characters)

Absolut 瑞典伏特加 ruì diǎn fú tè jiā

Bacardi 白家得 bái jiā dé

Champagne 香槟酒 xiāng bīn jiǔ

LI Iced Tea 长岛冰茶 cháng dǎo bīng chá

Red wine 红 酒 hóng jiǔ

Rum & Coke 朗姆酒加可乐 lǎng mǔ jiā kě lè

Screwdriver 螺丝刀 sī dāo

An Ode to 399

Here’s a new article I posted (new ones should go up about once a week) recently on one of my favorite places in SH – the fabric market. Few things say fabulously (cheap) luxury than custom made clothes. Working all seven days this week prohibited my weekly pilgrimage this past weekend, but I will not be thwarted.

Here’s the article.